being myself!!

broken...am i??

2006-03-04T05:04:00.000-08:00

A real beautiful song tis is!sumting that i m singing rite now!while my heart is bleeding..but yet ..i still gotta live!..life goes on no matter wht happens!

we still haf 2 walk our way through life..even if it wud mean 2 b walking alone..all alone!wif no frens ..no foes..no luv ..no hate!ntg at all..juz a dull,boring n lonesome walk!

rite now ..juz kinda terribly hurt!
i know i can only b hurt if i choose 2 b..bt i guess i m choosing 2 b that way thn!
..i know i will b fine soon!hopefully!

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

someday we'll reunite 4 all eternity..

2005-09-21T22:11:00.000-07:00

Rains of sand slip through your hands
Never ceasing time
Fold your hands in silent prayer
Eternal peace you'll find

[CHORUS]
Like two rivers flow
to the open sea
Someday we'll reunite
for all eternity

Let the rain falling on your face
Run in to your eyes
Can you see the rainbow now
Through the stormy skies

[CHORUS]
Like two rivers flow
to the open sea
Someday we'll reunite
for all eternity

Like two rivers flow
to the open sea
Someday we'll reunite
for all eternity

Standing in the rising tide
Heaven's light shines on you
On you, on you

Test the sea rising at your feet
How far can you go
Til you need God's helping hand
To ride the under-toe

[CHORUS]
Like two rivers flow
to the open sea
Someday we'll reunite
for all eternity

Someday we'll reunite
for all eternity

Someday we'll reunite
for all eternity
..

yea..mayb sumday we'll reunite...miss u so much!!

crazy!!!

2005-09-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

i m going insane!!!help me!!...i juz cant forget ...!!
how do i keep my mind off ...??
i nid sumting 2 distract me 4 a while!!
but wht??

broken heart!

2005-09-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

i know u r not worth my tears!..but i dunno y i juz cant resist!

I Don't Give A Damn

2005-07-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

Every time you go away
it actualy kinda makes my day
everytime you leave you slam the door
you pick your words so carefully
you hate to think your hurting me
you leave me laughing on the floor coz

I dont give it up, I dont give a damn
what u say bout that
you know i dont give it up, i dont give a damn
what u say bout that
you know im not gonna cry
bout some stupid guy, a guy who thinks he`s all that

I thought we were just hangin out
so why did ya kiss me on the mouth
you thought the way you taste would get me high
you went to all your friends to brag
guys are always such a drag
dont u know the reason that i kissed you was to say goodbye

coz I dont give it up i dont give a damn
wot you say bout that
you know i dont give it up i dont give a damn
wot u say bout that
you know im not gonna cry, bout some stupid guy
a guy who thinks he`s all that

hangin, hangin out,
i am simply hangin, hangin out
i am simply hangin
so why did ya kiss me on the mouth
dont you know that i

i dont give a damn about you
i wont give it up now for you
im not gonna cry bot some stupid guy
a guy who thinks he`s all that

i dont give it up, i dont give a damn
wot do u say bout that
you know i dont give it up, i dont give a damn
wot u say bout that

i dont give a damn, i dont give a damn
wot do u say bout that
you know i dont give a damn, i dont give a damn
what do u say bout that.

yea..u gt me right!i dun give a damn at all!i dun care bout wht u haf gt 2 say!neither do i care bout u!yes..thats wht i said!u mean nothing 2 me!

sad 4 me!

2005-07-19T13:45:00.000-07:00

tis is so bad!..tis is really d worst time 2 get sick!i so badly need 2 study 4 exam..n i haf 2 complete my project!:(
but i juz cant concentrate!my head is aching so much

i love u!

2005-07-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

i love u..jay sean!

You Don't Know Me

Straight out of UK
Came a little British Asian brother by the name of Jay
Who never cared down what you said
So many companies wanted me to be in my way

I been here a while now, doing my things
Hanging up and never giving it up
Always percevire throughout the years
And the fuss about my colour never giving a f**k

Wanted you to see the talent in me
But you wouldn't hear what I say
Now the stories changed
Cos suddenly Asians are the fashionable trend today
What they told me was that I'm a brown man
Who's up in the black industry
But that wont hold me down
Look at me now got to where I want to be

You dont know me, Jay Sean is the name
You dont know me, I was born for the game
You dont know me, so why dont you take me as I am
You dont know me, Jay Sean is the name

Tell me what is happening
Coz now the music industry is focusing on marketing ploys
See I remember back when it wasnt about looks
Or colour but about the voice
Now things are changing coz back in the day
No one happened to be feeling my sound
Now its all about the latest trends
I guess im lucky cos the colour of the season is brown

I dont live for glam, and I dont care for fame
I mean its for the love of the game
Funny how things can change when suddenly
Those who turned against you want to know you again
All I wanted was to be me
And let you see what this means to me
So words dont fail me now
Finally, I got to where I want to be

I'm ready to spit rap
And chuck it in front of the people who told me my shit's whack
Sit back
Don't let me be one of the brothers who wanted me to quit rap
But just hit back with a fat joint
Now I'm delivered to that point
I'm writing the darkest lyrics the fastest lyrics that you can't hack boy
And that's what gets me
I'm sick of MCs whose trying to test me
I'm sick of A+R people telling me drop my demo off next week
You're starting to vex me
Rap promoters saying my sets weak
Its harder trying to get signed and hear all the labels saying well lets see maybe, possibly, well he's got potential
Looking at my colour and ignoring my credentials
Skin ain't the issue I'm dark when I start to spit
It's all about appeal and how a artist can be marketed
And now the Asian scene's the place to be
Ever since Goodness Gracious Me graced the screen
What with Missy, Truth Hurts and Redman having a taste
We even had the Kumars dancing for Gareth Gates.

You dont know me, Jay Sean is the name
You dont know me, I was born for the game
You dont know me, so why dont you take me as I am
You dont know me, Jay Sean is the name

the hectic july!

2005-07-04T23:41:00.000-07:00

assignments due,internal test n 1 project!all tis is killing me!after d test i will only haf 2 weeks 2 study 4 my finals!gt 4 subject..n 2 of it is mathematical subject!i m not worried bout maths..but logic design is real tough!!will i survive?

another day ruined!

2005-06-28T18:50:00.000-07:00

my eva xploding head ruined my whole day!my head has been paining terribly since yesterday n i cant carry on wif my normal daily routine!d pain was so excruciating that i cant even move 2 get some medicine!i juz lay in my bed..so helplessly!i thought i wud die!!..but i didnt!
thank god..i m a lot better now.

thinking hard!

2005-06-27T22:11:00.000-07:00

still thinking of atitle 4 my multimedia project!gosh..tis is real bad!i've been thinkinh bout it 4 d past 1 month i guess!!but still din make up my mind!!i badly need 2 passup d proposal by tis week!now i m thinking of doing sumting bout harry potter..mayb bout harry potter and the goblet of fire which is bound 2 b released in november tis yr!..but thn..since d movie is not out yet,can i find enuff resources bout it?i really dunno wht 2 do!!help me sum1!!

a magical kiss!

2005-06-21T10:43:00.000-07:00

This song has been ringging in my head 4 d past few days!i dunno y;)..but,.. at least..i've been
happy..not depressed anymore!
..a magical kiss that healed all d pain!

ATC - I'm In Heaven (When You Kiss Me)

I’m in heaven when you kiss me
show me how you miss me
take me with you back to wonderland

You captching me with the stair
I’d follow you anywhere
You leave me into tintation
Condition me to enjoy
I’m like a kid with a toy
I’m loosing my concentration

One kiss from you on my site
One touch is all I desire
One look from you take me higher

You know I couldn’t resist
Yeah I miss
Every time I'm with you
Every time that we kiss

I’m in heaven when you kiss me
Heaven when you kiss me
You were send to me from wonderland
I’m in heaven when you kiss me
Heaven when you kiss me
You were send to me from wonderland
I go crazy when you kiss me
Show me how you miss me
Take me with you back to wonderland

You know I couldn’s resist
Yeah I miss
Every time I'm with you
Every time that we kiss

I dream of you every night
It’s like I’m loosing my mind
This feel is just getting stronger
My head is spinnin’ around
You play with me but I’m down
I can’t resist every any higher

One kiss from you on my site
One touch is all I desire
One look from you take me higher

You know I couldn’t resist
Yeah I miss
Every time I'm with you
Every time that we kiss

I’m in heaven when you kiss me
Heaven when you kiss me
You where send to me from wonderland
I’m in heaven when you kiss me
Heaven when you kiss me
You where send to me from wonderland
I go crazy when you kiss me
Show me how you miss me
Take me with you back to wonderland

You know I couldn’s resist
Yeah I miss
Every time I with you
Every time that we kiss

You know that I hit my times
To stand and look in your eyes
You know I couldn’t discuss
And I couldn’t resist
Every time that we kiss

I’m in heaven when you kiss me
Heaven when you kiss me
You were sent to me from wonderland
I’m in heaven when you kiss me
Heaven when you kiss me
You where send to me from wonderland
I’m in heaven when you kiss me
Heaven when you kiss me
You where send to me from wonderland
I go crazy when you kiss me
Show me how you miss me
Take me with you back to wonderland

You know that I had much time
By your rust
And I just can’t resist every time that we kiss

You know that I had much time
By your rust
And I just can’t resist every time that we kiss

every minute..a different mindset!

2005-06-18T10:34:00.000-07:00

i juz wish i din change my mind every minute!one minute i think this is d most appropriate decisson 2 make in these certain situation ..n d next minute i think that was the dumbest mistake i made in my whole life!

thats so sad huh?how can 'sumting' b so right n so wrong at the same time?that makes decission making a tough job!

Not Welcome To My Life!

2005-06-17T20:41:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

i m so insane!

2005-06-17T01:27:00.000-07:00

I have been hurting for a few weeks when I decided the pain was too great for me to bear. I unreluctantly pick up the phone and called himI don't know why. I don't know how on earth I did that- but I did it: I called him. (he's juz a fren..but wht kind of fren is he?2 b hurting me!).

He was suprised (or mayb shocked) of y i called all of d sudden!. He somehow sounded happy, but I wasn't sure. Is he really happy, deep within his heart? Or is he just playing yet another masquerade on me?

he treats me juz like a piece of junk!n yet..i actually bothered 2 care.. afta all that had happen!i gotta b crazy!

d end/??

2005-06-15T21:11:00.000-07:00

I had an argument with a friend few weeks ago..i m still terribly upset! I am so upset that I feel that the world is closing in on me and I knew that I want to die.

He said something so mean..that.. it hurt me so badly!
At that point in time, I thought: "Is that what he thinks of me?" I feel so very disappointed. How could he say something like that? I wonder, if he thought of something like that, what does the others think of me? And I wonder, if... my life is worth living at all. When I think of the words he said, it hurts me so bad, I felt tears stinging in my eyes. Suicidal thoughts began to emerge. What is life? What is life?

I wonder, if... my life is worth living at all. When I think of the words he say, it hurts me so bad, I felt tears stinging in my eyes. Suicidal thoughts began to emerge. What is life? What is life?

A rope, poison, drugs, whatever.. anything.!! I am desperate to end my life right now!i cant take tis anymore!i cant go around pretending 2 b happy,put on a fake smile.. while my heart is bleeding deep inside me. I feel as though he has torn my heart out of my torso and the blood dripping and form a bloody river bank..causing me xtreme pain 2!
..NO!!!i cant take tis anymore!!!

everything feels wrong!

2005-06-08T08:23:00.000-07:00

when 1 thing goes wrong,everything seems 2 go wrong at the same time!

wht a day!!

2005-06-07T04:27:00.000-07:00

wasnt a very bad day..but bad enuff!!rite now i feel so irritated!!..
tis morning.. i went 2 class as late as usual..thn afta class went klcc..i felt real bad!jo was terribly grumpy!i juz felt small!..felt like she is gonna swallow me!..having joey together din make me feel any relieved!

..we went cofee bean..i had pure chocolate..which my friend recommended..hmm..not bad also..but thn..not enuff flavour n not enuff cream(hehe)!..

..all the 3 of us were having our drinks together..but i din enjoy it much(a cup of cofee i din enjoy!)

..even wif jo n joey in front of me..i felt so alone(d bad feeling..the feel of being left behind)! i juz dunno y..i m the 1 2 b blamed 4 d way i feel..not them..they r preety nice ppl!.. sumting juz terribly wrong wif me today!

.afta d drink i went 2 college..da frend i was supposed 2 meet cudnt make it..so i thought i can at least do sum printing in d college lab..(i neva used d printers there b4)..i finally figured out that the cd rom drive in d lab is not functionable!damn!!i cant even print!so..juz went back home..reach home bout 5..dunno wht i did 4 3 hours..now is 8..d whole day i din do anything useful!..wht a waste!..hope afta tis at least i can find sumting useful 2 do!..mayb study or do assignment..or at least write my proposal for the multimedia project!

who is a friend?

2005-06-02T01:16:00.000-07:00

A Friend... is a tissue when you can't stop crying A Friend... is a shoulder when you feel like dying A Friend... always listens when you have something to say A Friend... is a week when you need a day A Friend... is a crutch when you have a brokenheart A Friend... is some glue when everything falls apart A Friend... is a sun when the rain just won't stop A Friend... is your mom when you run into a cop A Friend... is a phone call when you can't leave your home A Friend... is a hand when you feel all alone A Friend... is a wing if you want to fly A Friend... understands without knowing why A Friend... is an ear for a secret to tell A Friend... is an aspirin when your head hurts like hell A Friend... is a love that can never let go A Friend... is you